Something Ambiguous

Argleblargh

2006-04-10T22:07:00.000-04:00

Cos I wanted to say it, that's why.

I reread some of my writing (including stuff that dates from about, ah, well, my earliest one [that I wrote most of at Holiday World, and that's about dogs] has to be from about 7th grade) and some of it made me cringe to the point of wanting to curl up in shame that I used to be so bad. Florid with a small vocabulary, very unclear, used almost no transitions, a bit abrupt and WOOOO WERE THERE MARY-SUES. Mostly because they hardly got written enough about to find major flaws, but yeaaaahhh. Gack.

But, in the process, I reread the Monster from 2004 (2003 doesn't need to be refreshed -- I'm kinda sorta still working on it when there's time), which included SKT's lovely, lovely review. The only one I currently have for that story, so I assume that he's the only person that's read it. And he's the only person that I know in person that has. Hee. Anyway. He said that the main character I was unhappy with clearly had a reason for hijacking the story, and that I should at least give her view a try. (I believe the tone behind the words was close to "So what? Just write it! You'll feel better about it when you've done, I promise!")

And I realized that what I had planned out for her was entirely too not-messy to even fit her. While it would have been fun for world-building and social interactions and things, I can throw it back onto the Stack o' Ideas and see where she wants to take me. It's a little scary, because she's more me than any other main character I've ever written (most of which were bordeline, if not genuine, Mary Sues, let me remind you, and they aren't as real because they weren't written in my sophomore and junior years of high school), though she's also set apart in the quality of her angst -- it's strange.

So I suppose this is an announcement that I'll be picking the story back up again, because there's at least one more scene I need to put down, and then we'll see where it takes me, right? (Write what you know, they say sometimes, and while it's a piece of advice that has lots of upsides and downsides, I still don't know how I came up with her mother.)

And I'll disregard all alarm bells that scream TOOANGSTY at me because this is fun.

I realized sometime earier this week that I want a finished novel. I really do. Maybe it started when I saw Ringi's announcement that she'd finished the first novel that hadn't been crap yet, and she was so excited. She did NaNo 2003 with me, and we've been simulatenously involved in some other things, and she's a much better writer than I but I still want to be like her. And Sherwood Smith, whose latest novel went in for a Franken-rewrite to fit editors' specs, and whom I get to watch as she continues another story-thread that I already love.

And I'm babbling something fierce while I should be studying for an AP class. Testing is close, now, as is the Academic Super Bowl competition and my birthday (listed by distance away -- my 18th is this Friday), two of which I need to prepare pretty thoroughly for. AP is scaring the bejeezus out of me right now. Raaaaa. No more babbling.

Here's hoping that, whoever you are, reader, you're having a good Spring so far, because mine is, at least, interesting.

((cough))

2006-03-27T20:30:00.000-05:00

Um, yar.

I posted a poem on FP! Go me. I came up with the first stanza one day in CISCO, intending to go free-verse like all the other stuff I've been writing. Only got about five lines in, see. Came back to it later while in the lab with Nichole (she was wrestling with sulky data to get a poster done for Symposium, two days beforehand) and decided to force myself into some sort of structured poesy. Lo and behold, I had a mostly-iambic starting point with a few interesting variations.

Boy, did that take some word-wrestling. I worked on that silly thing for at least an hour, and thoroughly enjoyed myself all the way through, though I keep tweaking it even now.

Hope it's enjoyable.

Embarking on a long re-read of Aim and attempting to get back into writing, like, every day again. I can do it now. I have things planned out for just about everything I have posted so far (plus some); it's just sitting down and making myself do it instead of lurking on message boards and being ineffectually opinionated like usual.

I joined this roleplay club based on the Redwall series (yes, I've been into this series since 6th grade, I'm a dork, we're done with that now and have been since I entered high school basically) and have been writing almost every day, but it's 1K-word posts. I currently have the only finished thread on my desktop and am supposed to be editing it for "publishing" within the club to raise money for our ship's chest (a fund for merriment/morale points, repairs to ship, and possibly "good job for roleplaying" prizes [ooh, maybe we can tie it to the Falun system and make the promotions/ranks more meaningful, because some others on the other ships don't set much store by it currently, as hard as Fru's trying to revive the Glory using it]). Oh, dear: I've gone off spouting nonsense. Well, just join the Vulpine Imperium, then. That is, if you're interested in roleplaying as a fox, rat, stoat, wildcat, weasel, or ferret enlisted in the Navy under an Emperor. It's so fun; we follow canon but rarely (except for a few basic rules) and there are lots of Phans, Les-Mis-obsessives, and other nutters running around.

Cor. I'm gonna go read some more Middlemarch now.

Woohoo!

2005-12-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

I updated Aim! Awesome.

I got impatient with Cath's cast, because to me she's had it for two years while to her it's been about a week (see if you can catch the reference in today's update, haha) so I did some research on broken legs and stuff, and found out that it can take surgeries and a very long recovery time. That would kill my plot. So I decided to make it so Cath's ankle is sprained, not broken. I'll be fixng my rough draft but not the posted form, at least not yet, and there's a note on chapter 16 (the most recently uploaded) to say so.

I'm proud of this so far. It's okay writing, and I got things done! David seems a wuss for about five minutes, but it'll be okay. It's also superlong -- 5793 words. Usual chapter lengths are something on the other side of 5K. Now the total is 61,693 words. Yay!

You would not believe how many times I had to scroll up and refer to what was already written. I've written about 3K words today and that makes me very happy. I really want to continue and, if possible, work myself up to about 1 to 2 thousand every day. It's the only way to continue writing and make headway and all.

Back to writing! Feels good to be at it again, and on a project already shaped!

It has occurred to me that I have never waxed poetic on food

2005-12-06T23:08:00.000-05:00

At least, not in written form.

So this is what I've yet composed:

Shall I compare thee to a steak?
Thou art more lovely at this temperature
Than even sliced cold roasted flank
(Except perhaps on salad)
Thy blush is like the pink-mouthed yawn
Of tender bovine tended with great care
Or medium-rare filet mignon
(How would you look in bacon?)

I expect more. I love the meter of this so far, it's awesome! (Slight problem with rhyme in lines 1 and 3, but I've willing to leave it because I have to use it to establish my...whatever. tone? subject matter? something. but it's intrinsic, and I like it that way)

This just in

2005-11-30T20:42:00.000-05:00

I know a successful person! Yay for him!

Well...here it is, the end of November, and what do I have to show for it?

For the second time, a thread that could potentially grow into the story I was aiming at but whose future yet remains unclear.

For the first time, new work on other projects both older and younger than November: new things for a few older stories, and a few new concepts I'd like to develop. Or just stew in the brain. Yeah.

Uh, my wrist hurts...I kinda miss the near-carpal-tunnel pain from two years ago. Right now I have the funny dislocation thing that happens sometimes. Hand takes a near-twenty-degree tilt toward the pinky and is nearly useless...can't grab things.

I'm sure that's INCREDIBLY INTERESTING!

Haha. Sure it is. Man, now I have to go do homework. Calc teacher is insane! But Calc is fun. I nearly die of laughter two days out of three, with Swara and Jeremy right behind me. Liz laughs at me, and Michael and Drew just kinda shake their heads, done laughing about five minutes ago.

Hey, SKT, did you know Drew and Brook are going out? For a few months, now, and it just occured to me that I didn't know if you knew. Eh...

Mwahaha!

2005-11-13T23:23:00.000-05:00

Yay! In other news, I wrote a sentence! I have writer's block on the fifth page and that is...I don't know what to think of it...

Monya's at...11? 13? pages, and Jeremy, as far as I know, is still at 6/7

More in-depth reporting after the commerical break!

Bagh!

2005-11-12T22:49:00.000-05:00

I have gotten no writing done! Lots of things happening: pageant techie stuff, Spell Bowl...I don't know when this whole No Time Whatsoever thing is actually going to end...

Maybe an hour's worth tomorrow. We'll see.

Sorryfornoupdates!

Next chapter synopses

2005-11-09T23:33:00.000-05:00

If I intend to post the next chapters of works already started, this is roughly how they'd go. Order: NaNovels in order of how much I like them, then others in roughly the order of how much I wish to write them.

Aim - Cath tells her mother, who gets to grapple with botht the concept and memories of strange family reunions...hmmm...not-cliche-at-all-I-promise! Well, I tried. And Cath and Arlene's first Night celebration. It's magical.

Stuck - Gret finds out that she wasn't actually Austin's girlfriend, just a...diversion? practice? She doesn't know yet (she's in frustrated shock) but she runs out intot he rain, gets a ride home from Tanner, and sits to soak on her roof and think about things (and probably get a nasty cold).

Alsaskia in the Capital - Aene meets the Duke, tries not to sneeze, and has fun adventures with her horrible language skills. Yay. This thing is actually more serious than I tell it here.

Neighbor Dog - Henry and Philly continue to fail to figure out what's going on. But there is funny, and awkward funny, and just plain awkward.

Arsil - Zander and Arsil have another nice encounter. And when I say nice I mean that Zander's a brat some more and Arsil makes more fun comments that make him sulky. We also get Arsil backstory and motives. Hooray!

untitled and unposted, currently "Stripes" - unnamed runs away and has run-ins with hunting parties (not looking for her, specifically). She also meets a woman who can see the spell and knows where she can get help with it.

Learning - Whatsername, er, starts back at school? I think...but she definitely gets weirded out, and Mitch is sad.

Whee! Now I am a little excited at what awaits me after November.

I think I'll stay on one storyline this month, because I think it has awesome potential and I jsut need to stick it to see what happens. There was too much wavering last year and that's probably part of what killed Stuck. that and my general disgust with the whole story up to that point, which has since been tempered but not eradicated.

I'm at the point where, if my current stuff gets edited, most of it's destined for the shelves of Bad YA. Some could go Mediocre. I think in life I could get to Really Good YA or even Mediocre Fiction. Who knows? It'll be fun finding out, though.

Woot!

2005-11-09T22:49:00.000-05:00

words total: 2679
words typed today: 1982
total pages: 5
pages left to go: 83
scene repository: Haha, that's all I've got for tonight. I have some scenes but I just could not make them work right now. Hmmm.

Writing is hard! I barely got 2K words today and that's...interesting. Maybe I can get soem more. Hurrah!

697 words!

2005-11-06T20:26:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah! I am that awesome!

Eh. Wrote them last night in about 45 minutes, at about 11 ish. I am sick and was on cold medicine so I was still awake. The writing was coherent but I hate it already. I even named the document "ewww."

words total: 697!
words typed today: 0 yet
total pages: 1.5!
pages left to go: 86.5

title: I Hate Being Sick Oh Yeah Look Characters!

scene repository: ooh, I think I have about 3K words worth
chance of catching up by Sat.: that's, err, 20K...I'd say no chance. But getting to 10K (if pretend November starts this week) is a good goal. I think I'll try for it.

happy meter:
_NaNo-related: ----5----
_other: ---4------
outlook: eh. I'm sick, it sucks, I have finals, those suck too, I have a test tomorrow, that sucks, I want to write but I have to study, that's too bad, I want to write on my old stuff but it's NEW November and that's not really that bad

Ugh. I don't like writing this guy, I don't know if I've got the character right but if worse comes to worst I can probably perform a sex change and the story could stay more or less intact. Actually it'd probably be more interesting if it was a girl off in search of a disappeared prince. I think I like that better. Hmmm.

Hooray for complaining! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

(heart) Chris Baty

2005-11-03T23:06:00.000-05:00

His emails are so inspirational...

Oh sweet Shakespeare...

2005-11-03T22:09:00.000-05:00

I can't even think about NaNoWriMo right now...

I disemboweled the production tonight because apparently I was too cool to follow the script...so I have to remedy that and also do some homework...

Probably not starting the thing until next week, but at least I'll have some more material to draw on by then. Maybe. I came up with an autobiography title today, Notes for the Next Life. I thought it was cool...I even have a sketchy idea of how it would go, too. Fun stuff.

SKT, I'll catch up with you later. Monya's got 7 pages, all done this afternoon, of just conversation, and she was pretty happy about that. I see you're rolling nicely along, too. Hopefully I'll get there.

One hour.

2005-10-31T23:03:00.000-05:00

If I hadn't had such a day today...

I'm still considering staying up to write a bit, but the truth stands that I have no more than a first sentence right now and I'm tired.

Apparently Parke County cancelled trick-or-treating tonight because a guy shot his two stepchildren and he's still on the loose? I heard this from a techie, from his mom. Interesting...and sad. Poor kids. All of them.

So I'm going to be good and not write and go have some sleep.

Yay November!

A reply

2005-10-30T21:27:00.000-05:00

(What was a comment became a post because I have now resolved to write more on my own blog than on yours, SKT. So that means you get to be less lazy! Mwaha!)

Bwahaha! I have two half-days!

Unfortunately, they've been mandated by the parents to room-cleaning and essay-writing, but we'll just see about that.

Entire days early on are great, great things. I remember in 2003 one of my NaNo-buddies had her Fall Break around the weekend of the start, and she got somewhere 20-30 thousand words into it then or soon after. That's when she decided her goal was two novels, 100K.

The Historian...very interesting. It's all thriller-y, but better than Dan Brown because of the focus on individuals and character and psyche-thingies. (That and I didn't like Mr Brown's protagonist by the second book...I think Angels and Demons was better.) The Historian has a deceptive speed. I get impatient with the storylines alternately...the first book ever to do that to me. Usualyl I think of them as the main and the sidetrack, but I'm curious about both.

I am...after CreepyStalkerUndead attacked Mr. Erozan. (Paul! How could you think he was dead after the car ran him over?)

I keep forgetting the (made-up word:) protagonista/narrator is close to my age. Which is why it's weird whenever she says something girly-silly about Barley.

Haha, moral to this story: if you would seek Dracula, don't, and go live in a church.

But what's this about fate? The author decides to confront accusations of fierce contrivance and forced plotting (although her writing is smooth enough to cover for that) by saying, through Dr. Bora, "it must have been fate!" This makes for interest -- is there someone/thing bigger than individuals that wants Dracula to be found? Is he working against it?

And that Bibliography -- 's CRAZY! At first it seemed a bit of a borrow from Da Vinci Code, but then it became a really cool unique idea...yay! I'm sorry I thought Kostova ever borrowed from Brown, other than capitalizing on the sudden surge in popularity of the type of book.

Speaking of Da Vinci Code, there's a movie coming. Hmm...

Aghaaaaahhh

2005-10-28T21:23:00.000-05:00

Wow. I knocked off three essays today and my brain is mush. Mushmush.

Mushmushmushmushmushmushmush.

Haha, mashed potatoes!

Lessee, I have 1970 words of finished product, plus about 500-600 words that I wrote but had to crop, kill, merge, or squish. How many hours? About two and a half total. This bodes well for NaNoWriMo, especially because I'll like writing it a lot more.

Whee!

Except that I couldn't go do stuff with my friends, which sucked, since Drew just called to say the musical thingy's painted and it's been raining for 4.5 minutes without a leak yet...sigh...and I totally forgot to call Mr. Del Colletti about the ISU workshop until about 5:40...oops. A lot. I hope it turns out okay...

Double post, even though it barely fits in either! Bwaha!

Now I'll go read some more of The Historian -- I didn't like how it's told, at first, but I've strated to respect it and, eventually, kinda like it. I love the stories, but it's a bit weird to have three going at once. Kinda. I thought of doing something like this once but dismissed it as I thought it was waaaaay out of my skill. Which it is. Still seems a leetle fragmented. Doesn't the narrator have any thoughts on the events? Any? Eh, well, I'm still in the beginning, really.

Meters, questionnaires, etc.!

2005-10-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

Stealing meters is fun...

This collection is just from my 2003 NaNo log.

Name: C.X. Blackfeather/Lauren/grimreaperkitty.
Novel name (if applicable): Oooh, hadn't thought of this yet. I suppose the main potential-storyline would be something like the Adventures of insert-name-of-plucky-protagonist here. No, seriously.
Novel genre: Fantasy. Did you expect something else?
Years doing Nano: 2
Previous novels (if applicable): Aim, Stuck.
Why are you doing Nano?: I can't stop.

BASIC STATS:
NaNo ID: C.X. Blackfeather
NaNo since: Nov 1st 2003
Working title: The Adventures of Some Boy, plus Wolves By the Tales (haha, I just came up with that. That's awesome!)
WIP Genre: fantasy/supernatural

AT THE START: DO YOU...
Have an Outline? Nooooo. Outlines kill me.
Scene-by-scene? I'm not that good.
Know how it starts? I have an idea to go on, but no opening scene.
Know how it ends? Roughly.
Have your climax in order? HAH! I don't even have a climax, really, except maybe for the rescue part and they start bickering.
Know your main characters yet? Noooo. Who are they?
Have a particular tone in mind? Hey, I know what tone means now! No.
Plan to Draw on your own experiences? Not plan as such, but I probably could.

IS YOUR WORK GOING TO BE:
Funny? (Quote from 2003:) In the sense of hah, hah, that's crappy, kind of funny.
Serious? I'll try
Sad? I'll try not to
Semi-Autobiographical? Noooo. For one, the protagonist is male. My first.
Based on another story? Nnnot really. It's got maybe one idea that I might trace back to Mercedes Lackey.
Influenced by any authors/current publications? Oh, hey. Considering how long ago I read that book, and that I only made the connection about thirty seconds ago, not really...

HOW HAVE MUCH YOU PLANNED? HAVE YOU USED:
A paper journal? Yeah, I now think better with a ballpoint. At least, for abstracts and planning.
Pens? Woot.
Multicolored pens? Probably only black.
A computer? Yes.
Index cards? If I need to keep track of things, I use post-its.
Lists? Doesn't seem like the type of story to need lists.
Bulleted lists? No.
Plot Charts? ((incoherent noise) I've never encountered one.
Character Charts? see above
Character formulas? Blasphemy! You don't do that!
Favorite writing resource: thesaurus, recent conversations

ODDS AND ENDS
A line you would like to use: "Salt...spray...sun...tangy, wet, bright and hot and cool and wonderful. I knew immediately it was what I was made for."
A scene you would like to include: A ship battle, and a siege on land, and a dream in which the road is clogged with other hopefuls
A concept you would like to explore: sea-knightships. Been tossing that around for about a year.
A cliche you would like to avoid: Any I can
A character you would like to use: a convincing male protagonist. I've always failed miserably at that within about two pages, before.

FORWARD THINKING
Do you expect to be able to complete it? Not really. I just want to see where it goes.
Do you intend to complete it? Maybe eventually, if it turns out I can carry it.
Would you ever try to publish it? If it really merited the effort.
What do you expect to get out of this month of frantic writing? A sense of accomplishment, and another elusive idea pinned down.

Now that's done with, at least for this post...

What I Plan:
A Epic of Grande Proportionf. Bah. Something fun. An exploration of my ability at creating characters and poking them until they interact with each other -- I really need to work on my conversations. A stab at good world-building. A small practice run of politics, maybe, before I try to tackle something else I started this summer. A delve into interpersonal relations and group pschology, if I'm good enough.

Plotwise? A band of short stories, being folklore/background for Aim, which is okay because they're in the same vein but with different plots and characters, mostly. A frame tale, of stories inspired by Spell Bowl competition words. A storyline centered around a young, naive but smartish romantic who learns why romantics never prosper. (A "noble" attempt, inspired by bards' tales, to rescue a Lady Princess, in which our hero sees the world and makes some friends. And maybe a reputation. I haven't decided whether the abduction is real, rumor, or propaganda. I wish propaganda had a three-syllable synonym starting with r.)

Oh, yes, Monya and I came up with a demi-plot today: shadow-people, created when people's shadows get up and walk away. They get dangerous. Oooh, do we get all His-Dark_materials-daemon on them, or this-is-your-soul,-this-is-your-soul-on-vice? (What would happen if the not-noble and good parts of you manifested? Oooooooh.)

Lookit! All this creativity! I hope it survives the musical, anyway. that may have been the problem last year: so much drama, so much shcrap. Maaaaaybe. Certain bits of drama won't happen this year, but we'll just have to see.

Wooooooooooo, long post. I gotta sleep. (11:26)

November!

2005-10-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

I'm totally in for it, SKT. Woot, ya totally updated the blog! Huzzah!

Bah, I'll leave the standard descriptions of plot, meters, and general gibberish for some other time.

I know! I know!

2005-08-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

I've been silly and worked on things other than Aim. I had to write, though. You know how it is.

Commentary on this recent piece of scrap:

Actually, I got nothing. The concept behind it is still in "Hmmm" stages, with no real development beyond planning to poke it with a stick sometimes and look at it with one eyebrow raised. Not that I've planned to ignore it - it's experimental. So I'll poke it more and more as I get more ideas. Still learning about people, really.

Commentary on Aim:

Gah! I'll start writing again today or tomorrow - there's really no excuse not to, as I know what I'm going to do. Just lazy. And now that I have college applications to request and fill out, it's the perfect displacement! Haha!

Until next time.

Allright, so.

2005-06-18T22:40:00.000-05:00

Breakthrough on Aim. Totally.

It came yesterday in the shower (I had basically no free time in Europe. Cool but also not cool) and it was such a relief.

But am I writing it? Noooo. I'm reading Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing...Rat? instead. Because I love it.

And I need to chew on the breakthrough a little more, get some actual phrasing in my head instead of just a few vague ideas.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

Chapter 15

2005-06-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

Again, not happy with this chapter. This, my friends, is where I went weirdo on the writing. I could feel it. Compulsively documenting every move, every detail, and getting both plot and conversation horribly bogged down in the inundation of triviality. It was gross. Major editing happened to this chapter, and hopefully it's okay now. Still, it hasn't had the goings-over that most of the rest of the work has had: every time I want to write again, I read through to get into the flow, and I fix things. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Yes, this pivotal moment was when I stalled spectacularly. Go me. As I said in the last post, I can't write Arlene. Which is why she is completely and unrealistically nearly nonexistant. (Agh, adverbs taking over...hurk...) Well, at least I'm a couple of hundred words past this, but written down and not typed, and hopefully that will grow during my trip. As will two of the Scratchbook sniplets I'm taking along. Conjecture:

massive plane rides + downtime + inspiration of hey, Europe! - exhaustion and extra socialization = sweet, sweet writing

Maybe.

Bad news: no more updates until I've written new things I'm happy about. Can't even halfheartedly promise to a sketchy update schedule. I'm sorry.

I think what I've ahted most about the past few installments is that the preceding story progressed with a pretty slow gait, allowing for characters and background to come out, and for the setting to entrench in the reader's mind (could be wishful thinking here...). And in the past few, I suddenly dump realization into the characters' minds and things should go rollicking off from here. Plotwise. Time for rising action, methinks. Only problem is (and maybe I shouldn't be telling you this) I got nothing. No climax, no falling action, no resolution. A sketchy at best idea of the Evil Behind the Trees (ooh, fun phrase, that). So...right now, your guess is as good as mine. Almost. What I'm thinking right now involves a museum, some fire, waterguns/crop-dusting planes, and/or threats. I scrapped the possible genetic engineering angle, if anybody's interested.

Insert more gibberish here.

Happy summer to ya, though, and please enjoy!

Many thanks to my reviewers Articuno and Tigoamy, who are really, really nice to have reviewed in the first place, and actually provide comments on my writing. Ka-woot!

Update!

2005-05-31T21:50:00.000-05:00

Allrighty, latest installment of Aim up. Commentry:

Eeeeyurgh…ick. Not happy with this chapter. There’s some pretty good stuff in here, I think, but most of it’s bad. I stopped writing right in the middle of this last scene, because I’d reached 50K words, and left it alone for, oooh, a while. I can see where I got word-count-happy and a little manic. Eh. There’s one more installment’s worth of good stuff; after that there’s nothing much. Because I got stuck. Oh, good timing, though, because week after next I’m leaving for Europe! Woot! Verily, that shall be fun.

So I've run out of cushion -- every update after this next one will be all-new writing. Yay. Which means it'll get really sporadic and nobody will be happy. Sorry.

So...um...the plot's coming together now. In the story. This is where my lack of realism will get me into trouble because I don't know how to write Arlene. Not at all. She's a parent, is the problem. And she's central to the next big scene I have to write. Watch me do another tangent scene just to put it off, just watch.

Hah...MSTing this story myself would be hilarious.

Comment if you'd like to be emailed when this blog is updated. Or email me yourself.

Currently:

2005-05-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

3 things on FictionPress. NaNoNovels 2003 and 2004, plus a small collection of imagination-spewings.

Nothing new, to report otherwise, except that I need a Zip drive. Some stuff that I actually want to keep is on a Zip disk to which I have a drive, but no installation software. Funny, that.

I haven't written anything.

2005-04-26T22:40:00.000-05:00

Nothing much since last post. And I won't offer excuses because they have no relevance.

I haven't created anything original. I've managed to spawn an annoying, driving, wimpy melody that I thought was creative and cool but has lodged in my brain and plays when I have nothing else to think about. The lyrics, too. They were just "clever" wordplay and ambiguities describing a "revolutionary" (in reality, just weak and indecisive) period of thought which also has no relevance now.

Well, at least I got this out.

Story: How I got my pen name C.X. Blackfeather.

I was in Geometry class and was not paying attention. It's fun to do that sometimes. My teacher was explaining a problem or proof in our notes using some points named A, B, C, X, Y, and Z, and some lines running through those points. I had to write the symbol for a line running from C to X (a line over "CX") and I thought the way I wrote it was pretty cool. Looked kinda neat, so I kept drawing it. A lot. I was bored.

I already had a character from a Redwall fanfic (the storyline quickly aborted, though the character and a landmark or two still live) named Charpaw Redfletch. Thing is, she was a squirrel, and it's canon but overused that squirrels are archers. I wanted to name her Redfeather but there were too many "eh" sounds and a bird-y connotation. Blackfeather sounded much cooler, and was fun to write. Now Charpaw has no last name (no big loss; double compound names are overused, too) and there is C.X. Blackfeather. Woot. So no, I didn't get "Blackfeather" from the Rasmus (had the name before I knew the band) and yes, I do have a nifty design.

Allrighty. Now that you know how much of a geek I actually can be...and I wrote. Which is good.

It's April!

2005-04-01T23:24:00.000-05:00

And this isn't an April Fish Day joke. And neither was that. Or that. Or that. Or that...

Allrighty. I've decided to link to this on my Fanfiction.net and FictionPress profiles, and make it more about all of my writing in general. I'm not exactly coherent at hte moment, but I'll try.

Sherwood Smith, an awesome lady and my new favorite author, says to write every day. And I want to. So I will try. And I will say things about it. Because I've come to a change in how I look at writing and reading. I think it was started by Their Eyes, and brought into sight by Ms. Smith's unpublished Shevraeth in Marloven Hess and soon-to-be-released (July 5th! AIEE!) Inda (which have absolutely floored me with the woman's brilliance in worldcraft, wordsmithing, and histories). It's...weird. I can't describe it except to say that I now have an incredible desire to devour every classic and every good thing I can get my hands on; an appetite for understanding and evaluation and appreciation and enjoyment of every story and every author and every other piece of art and knowledge in the world; a need to know.

What this translates to, in terms of my writing, is: hey, there's going to be a change. I'm going to experiment, and try to return to my roots, and look for my style, and push my skills to their limits, and have fun. It's going to be great. I'm going to take whatever I can from anything that can teach me. I just...it's hard to relate this, my personal enlightenment.

Haha, I know what Terry Pratchett means in Small Gods, about, well, just read this and see what you can make of it:

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. ... It is used. And one of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary and turn the unusual into the usual.

Because if this was not the case, then human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing big stupid grins, similar to those worn by certain remote tribesmen who occassionally get raided by the authorities and have the contents of their plastic greenhouses very seriously inspected.

And if you can't make anything of it, go read the book. Monya and I love it for a reason.

Still, the known world is amazing. And the unknown...staggering. I was in NYC this weekend and we went to the Natural History Museum, to the Rose Space Center. They had this enormous sphere, and around it an exhibit about the range of sizes of all the stuff that is out there. It is a marvelous feeling when your brain is stretched so well. Looking at that, I got a good taste of exactly how many mysteries hang out there billions of light-years away/ago and many magnifications below unaided perception, and how strange physics is, and how amazing human thought is when it is applied to something better than it's normally so wasted on.

Less than two weeks until my birthday!

GASP!

2005-03-20T22:40:00.000-05:00

A real update! Hold onto your socks! (and sporks)

Just here to say that this guy is now at 12,994 words (yeah, I know, not that much progress...but hey) and the 2003 one is at...55,901. I'm proud of it. The last tiem I wrote in either of them was quite a few weeks ago...one of these days I'm going to get un-lazy and actually write some of the scenes I have. On the 2003 one: I'm stuck. It's bad. I got to a crucial scene and am now completely mired in one of my characters - a parent. I can't write parents. Not normal ones, anyway, not the kind I want this one to be. She's in for a major infodump and she shouldn't believe her kid on this one but...how do I get from there to where I want? I'll devote brainstorm time to it soon.

And the 2004 guy...I went through and changed all the verbs to present tense. Does nice things to the tone and percieved pace, really, but makes some of my formerly-prized phrasing kinda weird. I'll go in for a rewrite pretty soon. And the next scene is there, I just need to go and do it. Yeah.

Reading Dumas's Count of Monte Cristo for about the fourth time. I love that book. It's so strange - I'm picking up on weird, random little details. Like Max Morrel's mustache. I hate it, but I can't get that picture that the mention of the mustache creates out of my head - and it's a really weird one that's far away from all of my other mental imaginings of Morrel - but I now want to pick my details with Dumas's care. If the mustache mentioning was on purpose, anyway. Who knows? I want also to see exaclty Dumas's image of Edmond, but that won't work because he's dead.

Anyway, until next update.

Brace yourself!

2004-11-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness gracious! An excerpt!

But it's one of those weird little character excercises, which I just include in the writing because who cares if the story's a little fragmented in the first chapters? I certainly don't, and I'm the only one that coutns right now. So here, have a "your character's friend/pet/relative/sibling does something funny but slightly dangerous." It's lucky I have stupid cats and didn't have to completely contrive this scene.

---

I seated myself at the counter and was bothered only by Bit, who shed her orange and white fur all over my leg while she tried to make nice so I would feed her, too.
Bit was really my cousin Aaron's cat, but she liked me better. He got her from a friend whose parents wouldn't let him keep all of the kittens in the litter their cat had. Aaron tells the story behind her name as though he was the most intelligent and witty person in the world. It's some long story, because his friend's cat's name was Byte, because he's a computer whiz, and the cat had eight kittens. There are eight bits in a byte, or something like that. I don't know what those are and don't care, either, but Aaron did. I asked him why all the kittens weren't named Bit, then, and he brushed me off like I was an idiot, saying, "Eight cats can't have the same name, stupid." I called her Bit because it was a cute name, and Janet had pronounced her "itty-bitty" when she was a kitten – she really was a tiny ball of fluff – so there's my justification.
Aaron had tried to explain what a bit really was to me, but he gave up when I kept asking "stupid" questions. How was I supposed to know the inner workings of a computer? All I needed to know was how to make it show information, and save it, and if it didn't work then I was supposed to call somebody more interested and savvy than I was. Food is so much more interesting than computers, anyway; there are so many flavors and styles and looks and smells and sounds associated with food, while a computer always looks basically the same. Except for the ones that are "highly-designed," as Aaron says, like concept cars – appealing but obviously not practical. Food has one purpose and it fulfills it, or else the cook isn't doing her job right.
Well, anyway, I was talking about Bit, and she was still tiny. Not stunted, just a little cat – slight in stature, skinny but not a skin-bag with bones. She was adorable and friendly, if you didn't annoy her, and she liked to sleep next to my head sometimes.
She gave up on getting extra food and climbed into my lap. She made a nuisance of herself for a few minutes, kneading my lap with her clawless paws, constantly shifting, purring loudly, and butting her head against my arm in request for a stroke. But she settled down and probably went to sleep. I don't know, because I was totally absorbed in my homework when Cheese, another cat, came rocketing in, in one of his crazy moods. His bare pads skidded on the linoleum and, since he hadn't registered the change in terrain from the carpeted living room to the smooth kitchen floor soon enough, he tried to bank a turn against the lower cabinets in the corner and ended up hitting them with his shoulder or something. It was the shuffle-shuffle-shuffle-thump that caught my attention, and I looked up just in time to see him try wildly to change direction again. He skidded, again, without purchase on the floor at all, and careened crazily toward the corner with the dining room door. He made for the space between the leaning door and the wall, and barely made it through, but he caught a hip on the side of the door as he was coming out from under it. The door slid a little against the floor, making a horrible scud-scud-scuuuud, and I knew, just knew, that it was going to fall on Cheese and crush him. He got away from it, though, but it still hit the floor with a loud, knocking BANG, and Bit startled. She puffed up and went tearing across the counter, off of it, and into the living room, while Cheese looked at what he'd done for just the tiniest second before shuffle-shuffle-shuffling off behind her.
"Stupid cat," I muttered while my heart still pounded. As I got up and went to set the door right again, I did chuckle. He really wasn't the smartest cat, and our giving him catnip probably didn't help that at all. I had righted the door, more stably this time, and inspected the new scratch marks on the old cheap linoleum, when I heard my mother say, "What was that?"

---

From a couple thousand words that were actually any good. Week One writing, when I was still keeping up with my word goals. And - gasp! - character personality that isn't mine? Oh, my! I think it's my first ever, so excuse the clumsy job of it.

Heheh: C's all like, "Well, Anna Nicole is in Brazil but I still have to get Doodles to the airport and there's a random guy in the street that I want to keep because he could be central to the kidnapping plot and blah de blah de blah about my incredibly realistic plot and actual direction."

I'm like: "Well, Gret's in her house. Again. But there's a guy on the corner...?"

(Obviously, in referring to C's plot, I made all of that up. It's not even in Brazil, it's in Colombia, and if there was an Anna Nicole I'd insert myself into the story and personally barbecue her dog.)

I'm in a strange mood. Can you tell?

Murgle, ma-gurgle gurgle, McGee

2004-11-15T22:22:00.000-05:00

...eh...yeah...

Fine, it's 12998 words. Well, now it's 13K: "Oh, no!" was added.

So crafty...

So, NaNoWriMo is going on the back burner right now. Very back burner. I'll keep it going, because I don't want to lose this storyline - I'm in love with it - but I can't right now devote all the effort it needs. It's fortunate that I'm still in a sort of exposition.

Yeah. The start of the new trimester made me seriously reorganize. I've got to concentrate on school first and foremost. I can't be distracted. Can not. And that includes daydreaming up random NaNovel scenes, which happens when I'm so involved in it. Daydreaming is now strictly confined to when I am at home and not doing homework.

That, and I made a half-promise-half-goal to have a website back up and in operational order within a month. Now it's been about three months since the date I set for it, and my new date is New Year's. I gotta do that. It's my only reason for being more than just an anonymous blog and a few email accounts online - it's my identity in the ROC and I feel horrible that I'm letting people down like this. I gotta get it done, because I've been a horrible slacker on that site during the almost three years of its existence, and I mean to do better. I gotta do better.

NaNoWriMo, besides being a distraction to school work, was distracted from by school, the web site, and other social and academic things. I feel bad for it. But, as it doesn't do me any good right now (wordiness hurts my English AP essays, time-eating hurts my studying, and yet another half-finished novel won't bring in any money) it's the ball I decided to drop. I'd have been juggling too many things.

Now, that's enough doom and gloom for one post (and, in retrospect, it looks exactly like what Chris Baty's latest newsletter is telling me not to do) so I'd like to end by wishing luck upon all those that can and will stay the course. I, the failed, salute you!

And oh, yeah. I base that character on a person I used to talk to somoetiems in Pre-calc, and it only hit me when I sat down the day after our final (Friday) and it felt like I knew him. I had created a character that didn't talk much except for a few little jokes, who was a good friend of the narrator, and I was living the narrator's life so...fully...I knew the friend. I "knew" the random person sitting next to me, and it was scary.

That's one thing I'll miss about this frantic month.

Wow, longest novel-related blog post yet. And - Hah! - I guess I dropped the meter mania pretty quickly, too.

Yet again, Mr. C...

2004-11-11T22:46:00.000-05:00

You're silly. But that's why we love you!

Heheh: "Homo clock", "Fwoh!", and "Pretty good odds for a shag!"

Update? Hmmm....

12381 words

WOOHOO!

My social life is killing my novel. So is my laziness, really.

A more special update when it isn't today.

And no excerpt! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAcoughcoughchoke Okay I better stop.

2004-11-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

EXCERPT

Hah. Fooled you. Excerpt also when I'm not a zombie.

BRAINSSSSSSS

Wadoh?

2004-11-07T22:40:00.000-05:00

9411!

Stats tomorrow, when I'm not a zombie.

2004-11-04T20:21:00.000-05:00

I can't write today. I worked, and came home, and had bass lessons, and now I have to study for moronic APUSH test.

I might have time for about a paragraph, maybe.

This morning sucked.

And...yeah

2004-11-03T22:12:00.000-05:00

words typed tonight: 1783
tonight's average wpm: 17
total words: 4267
behind own goal by: 1733
behind 1667 goal by: 734

Looks good. Didn't do any major catching up tonight, and the low wpm is because I was distracted by AIM. Too much.

No good material for an excerpt yet, sorry.

Mr. C, you're just silly.

2004-11-02T19:53:00.000-05:00

And that's all I have to say about that. :P

All right, then, to the writing once again!

UPDATE!

2004-11-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

Stats:

days: 29
words: 1,827/50,000
pages: 3/82 (calculated at current pace)

average words per minute:* 33.2
words per day from here:1662 (A whole 5 wpd shaved off! What what!)

plot development level: 1--------- and ---4------: Same as before. Writing is doing nothing to develop plot, only setting scene. And I haven't dreamed much new up.
scene stockpile level: --------9-: 90%. Used a total of one from about ten or eleven. Go me!

motivation level: ------7---: Just got back from Fall Sports Banquet, so not really wanting to write, but the discovery of much more people signed up makes for hyper! Mr. C, Monya, Rach, and at least one of Rach's friends.

sugar stockpile level: -----6----: Eh...I have three packs of Orbit, some leftover Halloween candy (only Crunch and Butterfinger, though), and a few Skittles gum. It'll be okay.
music: So far, only my Ultra.Trance:2 and Oasis cds. Gotta bring Howie, Ted Leo, and Brand New back in.

NaNoWriMo outlook: ------7---: Not a good start, but two half days this week plus one and a half off next week.

*I recorded the number of minutes I actually spent typing, not going and doing other things away from the computer.

Well, then. I think I've found my tone, -ish. I'm leaving more holes in my narration than filling, but that's a job for uninspired days. I like my approach to character and scene building - I intend to give only as much as is needed to characterize correctly, and rely on diction fill help my readers fill in the blanks.

Ooh, don't I sound fancy?

Optimism abounds, because electoral-vote.com predicts big wins for Kerry. I only hope it's true!

And I don't think I'm done with writing tonight yet. Excerpts will go up as soon as I find some worth it. Right now my character is doing some teenage whining, and she needs to get through that before anything good is going to show up on the screen. But, hey, it is necessary. You know.

HUZZAH FELLOW NANOWRIMOS!

All right, kids, LET'S ROCK THIS!

2004-11-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

Novel start time: approx 4:30

Good luck, everyone! Let's get this show on the friggin' road!

YEEHAW!*

*Mr. C, please forgive me.

All right all right all right

2004-10-28T22:35:00.000-05:00

Ah'm ready.

Found Mr C. Huzzah!

Stats: (meter-rama)

days: 3 till November (!!)
plot development level: 1--------- and ---4------: Plot not actually developed yet because there is no writing, but planning is at a 4 because, while it's kinda there, it's mostly not.
scene stockpile level: ---------10: 100% but could use more
motivation level: --------9-: school is not making for happy, but I am excited
sugar stockpile level: ---4------: Not good. We have about three sugar sources in the entire house
music stockpile level: --------9-: BURN BABY! With the help of Brand New, CKY, Coheed and Cambria, Lifehouse, and Green Day, I shall make this ROCK! The only thing missing is an iPod or a decent pair of speakers.
outlook: ------7---: APUSH will kill me, as will work and use of newly-discovered social abilities (yes, I can be social!), but soccer is not a menace.

Will be posted anew as close to daily as I can get. Plus snippets of craptastic writing!

Huzzah for drivel!

2004-10-24T19:17:00.000-05:00

Now listed on NaNoBlogMo!

http://nanoblogmo.blogspot.com/

Not on the first page, check the archive 10/17-10/23.

Look! I'm going to fill my time with old NaNoWriMo surveys!

2004-10-21T20:54:00.000-05:00

Name: pen name for this, C.X. I'm also known as Lauren or grimreaperkitty.
Novel name (if applicable): Something Ambiguous
Novel genre: Fantasy/fantasy
Years doing Nano: One!
Previous novels (if applicable): Aim, still in progress.
Why are you doing Nano?: It was the most fun last year!

Another one:
BASIC STATS:
NaNo ID: on the site? grimreaperkitty
NaNo since: 2003
Working title: Something Ambiguous
WIP Genre: Fantasy/Fantasy

AT THE START: DO YOU...
Have an Outline? PAH!
Scene-by-scene? ...ish.
Know how it starts? Yes.
Know how it ends? Who needs an ending?
Have your climax in order? This would be better asked without the last two words, in which case the answer would have to be "1/2"
Know your main characters yet? Sort of. They keep forgetting their names...
Have a particular tone in mind? For one: no tone. For the other: first-person cynic that evolves and matures. Wishful thinking, I know.
Plan to Draw on your own experiences? YES!

IS YOUR WORK GOING TO BE:
Funny?. In the sense of hah, hah, that's crappy, kind of funny.
Serious? At times
Sad? Mostly in the beginning
Semi-Autobiographical? A bit. But I'm only borrowing from two years of my life.
Based on another story? Nope.
Influenced by any authors/current publications? Pretty sure not.

HOW HAVE MUCH YOU PLANNED? HAVE YOU USED:
A paper journal? nope. only for doodling
Pens? doodling
Multicolored pens? coloring doodles
A computer? Yes.
Index cards? most definitely
Lists? on index cards
Bulleted lists? No.
Plot Charts? Ummm...not sure what those are.
Character Charts? Didn't know I needed those...
Character formulas? Thought those were bad.
Favorite writing resource: Thesaurus

ODDS AND ENDS
A line you would like to use: "Ready? Of course I'm ready." "You're not supposed to exist." "Well, it hardly matters now, does it?" (ah, more like a dialogue piece, but who cares?)
A scene you would like to include: Rocksome battles and a fancy statue
A concept you would like to explore: Real characters
A cliche you would like to avoid: Most of them
A character you would like to use: A male that isn't completely flat. I can't do male characters for some odd reason.

FORWARD THINKING
Do you expect to be able to complete it? Yes.
Do you intend to complete it? Yes.
Would you ever try to publish it? Probably not, seeing as how it's going to be crap and I have no editing skills whatsoever.
What do you expect to get out of this month of frantic writing? Another 50K words, some idea of how to write, and no carpal tunnel problems!

Whee, that was fun.

Let's rock this!

2004-10-21T20:42:00.000-05:00

(this post is a transfer from my 2003 NaNoBlog at http://nanowrimoblog.blogspot.com)

So...NaNoWriMo. Another shot.

My novel, so far, is two completely different storylines. Who knows which one will win? Only November 1st will tell.

Goals for this year:
- Obviously, get 50K words.
- Work on plotcraft
- Do first-person successfully
- Pull off a fantasy with an ending
- Include social or national politics somewheres - hurrah!

Mr. C and Monya both said they might do it. C looked very interested, and Monya just hopes she can squeeze it in and still have something to write about - like me, she has a storyline that's been running around for about a year or more, and needs oppurtunity to get it down. Mrs. Pence thinks I'm crazy, as does Drew.

Meh...I'm ready!